by Kym Klass
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
May 2, 2010
HAMPTON, Va. -- Following a four-mile run along the Chesapeake Bay this week, I found myself justthree hours from facing my attacker in court.
Three hours from the man who ended my run one summer morning, putting enough fear in me that my runs stopped for 14 years.
This is the person I wrote about in October, who served his full 18-year sentence for attacking me, and who was due to be released from prison Oct.19.
What I later found out, was that a Civil Commitment Committee found probable cause that, if released, he would attack again.
So Richard Dorsett, who kidnapped and raped me on a run almost 19 years ago while I lived in Hampton, Va., was court-ordered to stay in prison. On Wednesday, a hearing at Hampton Circuit Court determined he is a "sexually violent predator." On Wednesday, I faced him.
Knowing a judge will determine in two months whether Dorsett receives a conditional release or is civilly committed (to an inpatient treatment facility), I took advantage of an opportunity given to me to explain to the court how releasing Dorsett would affect me. After writing to the Virginia parole board almost every year begging for them to not grant him parole, this was my last chance.
My last fight to keep him off the streets.
My last opportunity to keep other women safe from him. Even if it meant facing him for the first time in almost two decades.
Even if it meant experiencing the fear I did the weeks and days leading up to the hearing. The message in my three-page statement was simple: forgiveness does not forget. Delivering the statement was the hardest thing I've ever done.
In part, it read:
•I didn't realize the fear that remained in me - the enormity of it - because of one man.
•One thing I do know is that I am not only here for myself. I am here for the safety of other women -- so they don't come across someone I fear so much. There is such a large caution I would want placed in the world.
•How a conditional release will not affect me: I will not quit running. I will have to find a strength deeper than I have ever have had to before to make sure that doesn't happen again.
•It's the feeling of him being near me again. Even almost 1,000 miles away is too close. Forgiveness doesn't forget fear. Sometimes that fear is immense enough to make a person feel broken. I don't sit here and forgive and forget. I'm here to tell you it is hard to imagine feeling more afraid than I do right now.
That experience in court changed me forever, both as a woman and as a runner.
As an advocate, and as a mother.
The enormity of my mere 30 minutes in the courtroom hit me on the next morning's run. Back running along the Chesapeake Bay, I had a breakdown. Twice. The peace of the morning - the calming waters, the sunrise - did the most important thing for me. It invited me to be me.
And it was important I accepted that invitation.
I had a mix of emotions that morning ... from feeling safe running with him in the same city (albeit behind bars), to his image from the courtroom pounding in my head.
From his apology to me from the witness stand in court to his voice breaking when he said he had no idea he alone could cause that fear in me. From the way he looked at me, to how he wouldn't look at me when I read my statement.
I bought into none of it.
That next morning, I felt an empowerment I haven't felt -- ever -- over this. If I've ever wanted to make a difference, my time in court might have been it. If I can keep him off the streets to keep other female runners safe, then I can only pray I've done that.
If there is a purpose or a reason for "why" this happened to me, I'll take that one. The morning after court, every woman I saw either walking or running along the Chesapeake Bay -- along shaded sidewalks past picture-perfect homes -- I felt an obligation to keep their world protected. Secure. Free, from him.
Kym Klass is an avid runner, R3 Member, and a metro reporter for the Montgomery Advertiser. Follow her workouts at www.runkymklass.
